Joshua Malbin

I’m in the comic-book store today, because Wednesday is new comic day, and this kid of about thirteen or fourteen comes in with his dad. I’ve seen him there a few times before. He has Asperger’s or something: can’t modulate the tone of his voice, is totally obsessed with a specific subject (in this case, comics), seems oblivious to other people’s reactions to him. He strides inside confidently and announces that Batman and Robin is the only good comic out this week, everything else is crap.

He’s carrying a pole about five feet long with some kind of yellow mechanism at the end he’s holding topmost. I see it, assume it’s a piece of merchandising for some movie or comic franchise I don’t know, and don’t remark on it much further than that. The store owner banters with him and his dad a little about comics and whatnot, and finally asks him, “So what’s that you’ve got there?”

“This?” the kid declares, holding his pole aloft. “You might call it a mop handle, but in fact it’s my staff of all cool things that are awesome!”

Top that, Barack.

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